That’s the question isn’t it?  What are my intentions?  Why have I decided to put my thoughts to paper…er, put my thoughts to keyboard and make them available for anyone to see?  One of the somewhat ironic things about this blog is the fact that much of what I do in my business is educate individuals and organizations on the “Why?” and “How?” of utilizing the internet to effectively communicate the message that’s most important too them.  While we have a blog on our business website, I, personally, have yet to take the plunge into the world of personal blogging.  While I’ve never been accused of having no opinion, nor of being afraid to share it, I’ve never felt the need to put it all out there, in ones and zeros in cyberspace for all to see, read and analyze.  In fact, the funny thing is, even as I typed that last sentence, and was forming my thoughts into the next sentence, I felt a little vain, realizing how one might interpret that sentence…”for all to see, read and analyze.”  Do I think I’m going to develop some huge following?  People flocking daily to my site, or checking their RSS feed reader to see if I’ve gotten my next post up so that they can read my words?  So that they can leave their comments on the incredible insight I have or the amazing ability to analyze a concept or present some information that makes people think about their lives differently and maybe make changes for the better through the open dialog that inherently will come because of the many who will respond with comments of their own on the comments of the original commenters?  Huh?  Well, the answer, as with much of life, lies somewhere in between.  I guess anyone that writes a “journal” and posts it online for anyone to see expects to have at least a few people stumble across it, read some of it, maybe enjoy it, maybe learn a little about the writer and in the process learn something about themselves.  Of course, for many bloggers, and I certainly am no different here, there doesn’t always have to be something important to say.  Sometimes it’s just about sharing something that the blogger finds interesting, or about telling a funny story, or even solely about keeping a record of events and happenings in life.  Many friends and family I know are now blogging as a way to keep in touch with family and friends that aren’t nearby.  So, as you can see, I’ve rambled my way through some of the reasons people might blog, but have yet to disclose my intentions.  My wonderful wife often has to encourage me to move along.  Get to the point.

“Son, what are your intentions?”

I’m about to turn 37 in a few days.  The last four years have been nothing less than a roller coaster ride.  Speaking of roller coasters (I know, I digress, but stick with me for a minute) one of the best directors in Hollywood, and one that I admire and respect for many reasons is Ron Howard.  In his movie Parenthood there is a great scene toward the end of the flick where Gil, played brilliantly by Steve Martin, is experiencing yet another moment of stress and tension.  You hear the clicks, clanks, rumbling and rolling of a roller coaster and you see various members of his family on the “ride” that is only in his mind.  (This is usually the point at which my wonderful wife encourages me to get to the point.)  The moment is priceless and the message is meaningful…

Life is a roller coaster.  Whether you like roller coasters or not, you’re on the ride.  Some people love ’em, some people hate ’em.  But here’s the deal.  It will end eventually, so lighten up and enjoy the ride.  After the big hill you climb to start the ride, you go down. Fast.  But then, you come back up.  And then you go down.  And then you come back up.  Sometimes you get jerked around from side to side.  For those who hate the ride, this typically goes on for what seems like forever, but actually, as we all know, the ride is usually only a few short minutes.  For those who love it, they can’t get enough and it seems to go by too quickly, as if it were only a few seconds.  Of course the fact is that the length of the ride is the same for everyone.  The difference is in the attitude of the individual on the ride.  We can hate it, complain about it, scream about it, try to make it worse for the one that dragged us on there in the first place and just be a general pain  in the a$$ to everyone we can.  In choosing this path, the ride does become unbearable for more than just the person that hates the ride.  Or, we can realize that it will eventually end.  Knowing that the end is not in question, but that it is truly inevitable, we can choose to relax a little and try to enjoy the ride.  Laugh a little at some of the folks screaming and carrying on.  Laugh a lot at ourselves for some of the foolish fears we may have had at the outset.  Enjoy the ups, knowing the downs are gonna come, but that after the downs, there typically will be more ups.  If we can keep that in mind, I think we can get through the downs a little easier.

So, that would seem like maybe I’m trying to share something that might help some folks rethink their perspective.  Maybe.  I really just like the movie and Ron Howard and Steve Martin and am trying to drum up a few more royalty checks for them.  But seriously, what are my intentions?  What do I hope to accomplish by “sharing my thoughts”?  As I started to mention, prior to the Six Flags detour, the last four years have certainly been a roller coaster ride of epic proportions.  Too dramatic?  Perhaps.  I’ll let you form your own opinion.

A quick summary for you to consider…down – my father was diagnosed with cancer and passed away within a couple of years; up – at the same time, my wife and I were “trying to get pregnant” (which is definitely another ironic statement as it seems those who aren’t trying, and some who shouldn’t possibly be reproducing  appear to have no problems whatsoever) which we did; down – after going through some very clinical fertility treatments and procedures, but not in time for my father to see his first grandson; down – which was certainly disappointing; up – after our first son came along – down – we hit that place of busyness, and learning to be parents, but forgetting to take time for each other and had some difficult and deeply intense discussions about the future of our marriage; up – we recommitted and worked hard to be the husband and wife we should be to each other and started enjoying life again; up – lots of enjoyment; up – so much so, that without “trying” we discovered we had a second son on the way; down – not too long ago, my wonderful wife, saw an episode of Oprah in which the topic was autism and she began to obsess and became almost incapacitated due to severe anxiety over her belief that our oldest was autistic; up – even though everyone in a position of knowledge on the subject seemed to think he was fine; down – she couldn’t get past the worry and fear that something was wrong; up – even after a definitive diagnosis from a pediatric psychiatrist that he was not autistic; down – but maybe a little over anxious like his mom, and with some OCD tendencies – slight jerk to the right; up – my wonderful wife (she truly is wonderful, but I like the alliteration a lot also) through all the fear and anxiety over the autism scare read and researched and read and researched and learned lots; up – as part of her “therapy” for herself, she started a blog about things she’s learned through this process; up – we’ve started eating better, and being more responsible as it relates to what we’re putting in and on our bodies; up – Neal, our oldest and the one for whom Steph was concerned is doing wonderful and I have no doubts that he will develop into a fine young man, as will his little brother Eli.

Ups and downs.  That’s life.  This blog will probably have ups and downs as well.  My intent is to record my thoughts on things that I’ve been through and will go through and share them with anyone that might be interested.  Hopefully there’ll be some things that entertain and hopefully there’ll be some things that inform and hopefully there’ll be some things that challenge and inspire.  I ultimately want enough readers so that I can sell ads to Google and live off that revenue, but I’ll settle for at least one reader that feels like it was worth their while to have spent a few minutes reading what I wrote.